Gesturing, other body movements and tonality are typically unconscious and are also important in generating rapport. If a person that you are talking with likes cars (or has problem skin) and working on their car helps them to relax (or their problem skin is bothersome to them), you need to be able to communicate to their subconscious mind that the two of you are the same (even if you don't have a car or problem skin yourself).
The more you say the word "relax" or "bothersome" just the way they said it to you, the more powerful the suggestion will be. If they are looking at you, you can use the gesturing and other body movements to unconsciously communicate to them that you understood exactly what they meant. If they point to their heart when they mention the word relax, point to your heart when you speak about that same thing or if they frown when they say bothersome or annoying, you should also do the same when you repeat those words in your sentences.
Yes, you can also generate rapport with your language and tonality. If your subject is describing a feeling, and describes it as "brutal," when you mention that feeling back to them make sure you use the same phrase "brutal" with the same tone of voice and inflection.
Remember: don't overdo this as that will bring your efforts to be quite noticeable. Try to remember roughly how many times they use it and then use it more or less the same number of times in your dialect.
Here's one powerful way to utilize this "out-of-awareness" unconscious communication. Though it's a very simple technique many people are unaware of it. Synchronize your words with your subjects exhale. Meaning, speak when your subject is breathing out and remain silent when they're breathing in.
You can tell when most people are breathing by watching the rise and fall of their shoulders.
Match their breathing with your words, even if you have to break a sentence in the middle do so. It's very hypnotic and will build instant rapport creating a more closer, trustworthy and agreeable connection between the two of you. You can match any unconscious pattern and breathing is probably the most common.
Tell me more!
The Five Stage of a Successful First Encounter
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How to use Rapport Techniques on the Phone
Take me to Body Language Secrets Revealed
Powerful 'Mirroring Technique' in Body Language
